Amanda is the second in our series of Rainbow Baby Maternity Photography Sessions. We’ll be sharing her heartbreaking history with infant loss and how she became a rainbow mommy. If you missed the first post with all of the Rainbow Mommies, you can catch it here.
We are due with our rainbow baby on Oct 4,2017. I just found out this week we will be having another little boy and so excited. No names currently, since the husband still thinks he wants to wait to find out the day the baby is born.
Our story started with pure happiness in finding out, back in Oct 2015, that we were pregnant with our 3rd baby. Only to find out a few short weeks later that our happiness and excitement would now be turned into tears and questions of why. We found out Nov 2015 that at around 8 weeks we had lost the baby with no indications as to why or what had happened. After going through the miscarriage, the daily thoughts of baby and grieving knowing I will never meet this child i had once carried, we decided our family is complete and we would be finished having babies. Well God had other plans for us, and bigger plans for our family, as now I am pregnant with our amazing rainbow baby only roughly 2 years later.
I wanted to be apart of this Rainbow Momma event to bring awareness to the effects of miscarriage and losing a child no matter the stage of pregnancy. Losing a child at 8 weeks or 32 weeks, or anywhere in between, effects a mother and she thinks about that child though most people may not have known they even existed then or now. I personally believe that the current stereotype towards miscarriage and rainbow babies is that they should not be spoken of and that people are to grieve in silence over the loss.
I think about our loss just as much now 2 years later as I did the day the told me the baby had no heartbeat. It’s incredibly hard to wrap your mind around the fact that you carried a child, but God had other plans and meeting them will just have to wait. It affected our lives to the point we said we would be done having children because I didn’t think I could go through a miscarriage and the feelings that came with it again. Once I found out I was pregnant with my rainbow baby, I couldn’t help but pray everyday that this baby stays with us and is healthy. As excited as I was to be pregnant with our rainbow baby, we decided not to announce the pregnancy until very recently to make sure we didn’t have to relive the pain of when we lost our baby in 2015. The pain of losing a child (yes even at only 8 weeks) never leaves a mother’s mind. As a mother I constantly still feel the pain I felt the day I heard the words “No Heartbeat.” It’s something that will always stay with you, and though most people may never know our baby existed, it did to me.
One response I constantly receive (about my loss) is ‘well at least it was early on in the pregnancy, that makes it easier.’ Another one is ‘it was just not meant to be at that time.’ It doesn’t matter when in a pregnancy you lose a child, that was still your child. Nothing about losing a child is easy and the fact that people believe that losing a baby earlier than later is easier just shows how much miscarriage is misunderstood in society. My advice (to other rainbow moms) would be speak of what happened and let people know you are hurting. The stigma that we are supposed to be silent and act like nothing happened is a thing of the past. It’s okay to hurt and it’s okay to grieve.
One last thing I would like to share and see change is more people are speaking out about miscarriage and rainbow babies; they are looking for support. These people are not speaking out to be criticized or to be asked why they would ever publicly post or speak about losing a child, they are doing so looking for comfort and to know they are not alone. Lets support each other, not make people feel they should grieve in silence alone.
I personally want to thank Amanda and her willingness to open her heart and share it so freely with me, and now every single one of you. Our hope in sharing her story is to raise awareness about infant loss, miscarriage and still birth. Throughout this series you will read other heartbreaking stories as this, but the focus is on the strength these women have, their beauty and hopefulness for a bright future with their rainbow babies. I pray that each of these pregnancies results in happy and healthy babies!
If you’re looking to have some Rainbow Baby Maternity Photography captured, please get in touch via the contact form or send an email to Hello@jlritt.com. You can also book online here.
More about the photographer:
Jennifer Rittenberry Photography has been photographing clients throughout the greater Louisville area since 2010. She is a published artist in Beauty & Lifestyle Mommy Magazine and Newborn Photographer Magazine as well as named 2016 Parent’s Choice Award winner for her portraiture. In 2013, she focused her client base to Newborn and Maternity as she created a niche for herself after mentoring with three of the nation’s leading photographers in these industries. She has spent countless hours on continuing her education and sharpening her skills each year with the sole purpose of creating beautiful artwork for her clients to share with their families and preserve as precious heirlooms for generations to come. Located in Central Kentucky, her residential studio is in the heart of Mount Washington; only minutes outside of Louisville. Jennifer Rittenberry Photography session fees can be found on the website but detailed pricing and availability may be requested by email using the contact form.
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Located at 268 Deer Park Way, Mount Washington, KY 40047. Get in touch at (502) 523-2180!